I have spent a great deal of time over the past few months re-considering my goals as an artist and have gradually realized how far I've deviated from my original intent for Visual Lullaby. More and more, I'm recognizing my inclination leans more towards message-centered art rather than any career/commercial-centered ambitions. I had hoped to draft an artist statement explaining why, exactly, Visual Lullaby? What started it, and where had I hoped to go? Ever increasingly, I find myself convinced that the most destructive disease in America is not cancer or heart disease or AIDS, but loneliness. The culture of "I" and individuality has more often than not created the scenario of infinite islands drifting ever further apart in a vast sea of insecurity, arrogance, fear, and a misguided instinct for self-preservation. I had originally envisioned Visual Lullaby as a vehicle for building bridges between those islands, to create an opportunity for creative collaboration and remind people that even trees that stand alone often have roots that connect themselves underground. I wanted to focus on the concept of lullaby - that mystical portal to the world between waking and sleeping wherein lies a space safe enough to dream any possibility and imagine any impossibility as reality, yet still exists outside a realm where the body succumbs to fatigue and passivity, a space wherein action is not yet impeded.
Unfortunately, the circumstances of my life have been very different this year than I might have hoped or expected. It is with mixed relief and great sadness, therefore, that I write this instead. I am for the present backing away from Visual Lullaby. Building a new foundation for Tadpole and I has been consuming all my time and energy, and as this is what I really need to focus on right now, it leaves nothing else for any other endeavors. This doesn't mean that I won't still post projects from time to time. It just means I can't work on anything regularly enough right now to make or keep the dialogue Visual Lullaby had hoped to spark viable. The events that shook us several months ago have apparently impacted the little one more than we initially realized, and we both require a little intervention. I need to be present and supportive for her as much as possible during her waking hours, but that can't happen if I'm running myself down during her non-waking hours, as has been the case lately. I deeply apologize to anyone who will be adversely affected by this decision. I love you all dearly and continue to be grateful for the blessing of friendship that has been so abundantly revealed to us during this hardship.
The random musings of a hopeful wanderer
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Back to the Start
Dear friends, it has been so long since I've been in touch, and life has brought many new things since that time, as well as renewed some very old things. My husband badly injured his back, which has required me to rejoin the traditional workforce. As my traditional work history is rather laughable, finding employment was certainly an amusing adventure! But I am pleased to say that after casting my net with several temp agencies, I was fortunate enough to land a job I love amongst a great group of people I have quickly grown to adore. So now I earn my keep as a data entry clerk by day, and am very pleased to report that all the piano lessons have finally paid off. I haven't entirely given up on the art scene, but I have switched gears a bit - I opened a second Etsy shop (www.thefaerytrove.etsy.com) selling handmade jewelry and home decor, a love of mine from well over a decade ago! - and have been very blessed with a couple private custom jewelry commissions from very dear friends. And... with the formation of a fabulous small press publishing company in Vermont (www.branchhillpublications.com) by two amazing, amazing people, I have been given the opportunity to return to my roots by painting book covers. I say back to my roots because book covers were exactly what started me seriously on my artistic journey. I was a writer first, and took up art as a means to illustrate my stories. In middle school, shortly after I started laying out my fantasy novel, I happened upon Dave Duncan's "Handful of Men" series, which sported the most gorgeous, intricately designed covers I have ever seen, and since that time I've been hooked. My first attempts were more cut and paste layout sketches for stories I was working on at the time, but I always hoped one day I would be able to paint my own covers. Well... now I am very excited at the prospect of being able to do so for other actual accomplished writers!
For the first book, I was commissioned to design some promotional concept art for
a beautiful collection of poetry by the very talented wordsmith Phibby Venable titled "The Wind is My Wine" (please do kindly check it out here: The Wind is My Wine), with really gorgeous interior illustrations by artist Mel Stevens. Needless to say, I am excited for my official signed copy to arrive! Anyways, here is my feeble attempt to capture some of the freedom and expression only Phibby's elegant words could truly convey, and I certainly hope I gain more competence as time goes by.
In other news, my dear Tadpole is (much too quickly) approaching the two year mark and growing so very quickly! Her vocabulary is rapidly expanding and now includes several animal sounds as well as the essential "mommy", "daddy", "hi", and "more", although I must confess she has commanded a mastery of "No!" much sooner than I had anticipated (and rather hoped). Nonetheless, she remains my little microcosm of everything good in the universe, and we are so very, very blessed to have her here. And I think that covers everything.
For the first book, I was commissioned to design some promotional concept art for
a beautiful collection of poetry by the very talented wordsmith Phibby Venable titled "The Wind is My Wine" (please do kindly check it out here: The Wind is My Wine), with really gorgeous interior illustrations by artist Mel Stevens. Needless to say, I am excited for my official signed copy to arrive! Anyways, here is my feeble attempt to capture some of the freedom and expression only Phibby's elegant words could truly convey, and I certainly hope I gain more competence as time goes by.
In other news, my dear Tadpole is (much too quickly) approaching the two year mark and growing so very quickly! Her vocabulary is rapidly expanding and now includes several animal sounds as well as the essential "mommy", "daddy", "hi", and "more", although I must confess she has commanded a mastery of "No!" much sooner than I had anticipated (and rather hoped). Nonetheless, she remains my little microcosm of everything good in the universe, and we are so very, very blessed to have her here. And I think that covers everything.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
As Days Go By
Days seem to fly by now and I scarce know where they go. I can hardly believe my beautiful little girl is nearly a year old! She seems less like a baby everytime I look at her and more like a distinct individual living in a little body--quirky, lively, cheerful, with a sparkling humour and a smile that fills the room. I can't imagine what we ever did without her (well, except for maybe sleep in every once in a while!). She's amazing, but she does keep our hands pretty full, so I haven't been as productive artistically as I'd hoped. Nonetheless, I 
have managed to finish the Haitian relief commissions, so I thought I'd share those. The first is a pastel still life for an extremely dear friend back home. She is a very talented novelist with a very eccentric muse whose first book is being released in late summer or early fall. She's also a professional photographer, an avid consumer of coffee, and loves to play guitar, so when she described for me the image she wanted, I was rather excited. Thus ensued, "Where the Muses Dwell".
The second commission was much more challenging for me, even though it's more of a watercolor sketch than a full-blown painting. I'm not a landscape artist by any means, even though I enjoy looking at them, to be sure. I just figure nature is much better at putting in all those little details than I could ever be, and I think it's best left that way. However, the image I was asked to render happens to be one of my favorite photographs ever taken by husband. I had painted it previously with
dissatisfactory results and always hoped to revisit it, so when the winner of the bid requested it, I thought now might be a good time. Well, I thought wrong! I sincerely hope the recipient likes what she receives, but as for me, I am content to admit the genre isn't for me and leave it at that!
On the whole I find myself increasingly dissatisfied with my current style. There's something too static about my method and nothing I create seems to have the spark of life I hope for. This isn't a bad thing, just a sign that I've grown complacent and it's time for me to move and grow. Next week will be spent prepping for June 12th's art fair in Edinburgh--if anyone's in the area, feel free to stop by and say hello! After that, it'll be straight back to the drawingboard, literally, experimenting with materials, styles, and methods. Hopefully I'll reemerge with something that feels more like me, something more worth sharing!
have managed to finish the Haitian relief commissions, so I thought I'd share those. The first is a pastel still life for an extremely dear friend back home. She is a very talented novelist with a very eccentric muse whose first book is being released in late summer or early fall. She's also a professional photographer, an avid consumer of coffee, and loves to play guitar, so when she described for me the image she wanted, I was rather excited. Thus ensued, "Where the Muses Dwell".The second commission was much more challenging for me, even though it's more of a watercolor sketch than a full-blown painting. I'm not a landscape artist by any means, even though I enjoy looking at them, to be sure. I just figure nature is much better at putting in all those little details than I could ever be, and I think it's best left that way. However, the image I was asked to render happens to be one of my favorite photographs ever taken by husband. I had painted it previously with
dissatisfactory results and always hoped to revisit it, so when the winner of the bid requested it, I thought now might be a good time. Well, I thought wrong! I sincerely hope the recipient likes what she receives, but as for me, I am content to admit the genre isn't for me and leave it at that!On the whole I find myself increasingly dissatisfied with my current style. There's something too static about my method and nothing I create seems to have the spark of life I hope for. This isn't a bad thing, just a sign that I've grown complacent and it's time for me to move and grow. Next week will be spent prepping for June 12th's art fair in Edinburgh--if anyone's in the area, feel free to stop by and say hello! After that, it'll be straight back to the drawingboard, literally, experimenting with materials, styles, and methods. Hopefully I'll reemerge with something that feels more like me, something more worth sharing!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Dream
I can't explain what about cutting and arranging tiny little pieces of paper thrills me so. Paintings may bore or frustrate me after a period of time until I am either inclined to put them away for a while or declare them finished, but I never tire of paper crafts. I suppose it's related somehow to my love of books and the book arts in general, the weaving of a truly good story. Flat illustrations and paintings make good windows through which to peer into a storybook world. But the building up of layers of paper into something three-dimensional seems to draw the fairytale through the window and into our actual physical space, much the way the expert crafting of words in a great novel does.
This particular papercut has its roots in a rather roughly executed watercolor collage from a decade ago. The original ideas actually centered on what it meant to be a woman, and the imagery centered on what I felt at the time comprised her true essence--something natural, wild, undeniably powerful and quietly strong, both familiar and mysterious, pure, earthly, and sacred. Only a small part survived when I constructed the new drawing this papercut is based on, but it is a topic I will undoubtedly continue to explore. I honestly don't know much about this woman's story, or what other grand adventures await her in and beyond this dream. There was just something so enigmatic about this particular moment in the dream, I felt myself continually drawn back. One thing that fascinates me about dreams is their ability to sometimes reveal more about a person's true nature than the events that occur in waking can. In dreams, seemingly disparate parts coexist harmoniously, however illogically. In our waking selves, it is not always so. We are made up of so many faculties with such varied functions that can seem so opposed that, combined with the constant barrage of images and competing, often contradictory information society throws at us, it can be easy to feel lost and fragmented. But in dreams, our rational selves are turned off just enough that our bodies and imaginations remember that all these faculties were naturally made to work together, and however briefly, all those disjointed pieces come together and reintegrate--into something strange, perhaps, but certainly into something splendid. No matter how ridiculously we might feel about it in the morning.
This particular papercut has its roots in a rather roughly executed watercolor collage from a decade ago. The original ideas actually centered on what it meant to be a woman, and the imagery centered on what I felt at the time comprised her true essence--something natural, wild, undeniably powerful and quietly strong, both familiar and mysterious, pure, earthly, and sacred. Only a small part survived when I constructed the new drawing this papercut is based on, but it is a topic I will undoubtedly continue to explore. I honestly don't know much about this woman's story, or what other grand adventures await her in and beyond this dream. There was just something so enigmatic about this particular moment in the dream, I felt myself continually drawn back. One thing that fascinates me about dreams is their ability to sometimes reveal more about a person's true nature than the events that occur in waking can. In dreams, seemingly disparate parts coexist harmoniously, however illogically. In our waking selves, it is not always so. We are made up of so many faculties with such varied functions that can seem so opposed that, combined with the constant barrage of images and competing, often contradictory information society throws at us, it can be easy to feel lost and fragmented. But in dreams, our rational selves are turned off just enough that our bodies and imaginations remember that all these faculties were naturally made to work together, and however briefly, all those disjointed pieces come together and reintegrate--into something strange, perhaps, but certainly into something splendid. No matter how ridiculously we might feel about it in the morning.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Awakening
New tendrils stretch in the blush of sunrise
as strings of dewdrop pearls glimmer
on silken strands spread by faery hands
Whispering winds an ancient aire murmur,
the bitter cold stone of winter consuming
'til my spirit takes flight to vertigo heights
where leaves cascade in rustling showers
of golden greens muted against painted wings
fluttering graceful by through the azure sky,
and I surrender my soul to the embrace of spring...
April is National Poetry Month and I honestly can't think of a better time of year to honor one of writing's most historically romantic genres. Blossoms are stretching forth and opening, birds are singing, little critters scamper and frolic playfully as budding branches gently sway in warm, gentle breezes. Lawns once blanketed with snow are newly blanketed in green. The cold, hard ground is softening from the bitterness of winter and our hearts soften with it. Seeds long buried now spring forth in an explosion of color, and seeds of thought spring explosively from our imaginations as our emotions reawaken to the celebration of life around us. If this new season has planted a song in your heart, I strongly encourage you to write it down, whatever it is. The beauty of language and the written word is that they enable us, no matter how similar our experiences, to paint them vividly in colors and strokes that are entirely, uniquely our own. If you're looking for inspiration or just need an extra nudge, be sure to check out Key Publications Network, a highly supportive online community of fellow writers in all genres. Several poetry form workshops and inspiration prompts are currently running there in honor of National Poetry Month. And while you're at it, be sure to visit a couple of my personal favorite poets: HFU Poetry and A Musing Place. Have a wonderful spring!
as strings of dewdrop pearls glimmer
on silken strands spread by faery hands
Whispering winds an ancient aire murmur,
the bitter cold stone of winter consuming
'til my spirit takes flight to vertigo heights
where leaves cascade in rustling showers
of golden greens muted against painted wings
fluttering graceful by through the azure sky,
and I surrender my soul to the embrace of spring...
April is National Poetry Month and I honestly can't think of a better time of year to honor one of writing's most historically romantic genres. Blossoms are stretching forth and opening, birds are singing, little critters scamper and frolic playfully as budding branches gently sway in warm, gentle breezes. Lawns once blanketed with snow are newly blanketed in green. The cold, hard ground is softening from the bitterness of winter and our hearts soften with it. Seeds long buried now spring forth in an explosion of color, and seeds of thought spring explosively from our imaginations as our emotions reawaken to the celebration of life around us. If this new season has planted a song in your heart, I strongly encourage you to write it down, whatever it is. The beauty of language and the written word is that they enable us, no matter how similar our experiences, to paint them vividly in colors and strokes that are entirely, uniquely our own. If you're looking for inspiration or just need an extra nudge, be sure to check out Key Publications Network, a highly supportive online community of fellow writers in all genres. Several poetry form workshops and inspiration prompts are currently running there in honor of National Poetry Month. And while you're at it, be sure to visit a couple of my personal favorite poets: HFU Poetry and A Musing Place. Have a wonderful spring!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Back in the Studio
So after a nearly eight month hiatus (read: maternity leave), I am finally back in the new studio and painting again. It's been a rather odd experience, half like coming home and half like greeting an old friend after a long absence and wondering whether we still have anything in common. I honestly feared that somewhere in the process of childbirth and rearing and adopting my new roles as master feeder and diaper changer it was possible that I would forget how to paint and wile away the hours staring at a blank sheet of paper trying to remember what on earth I'm supposed to do with it. Fortunately, I still had a couple loose ends to tie up, which has helped me ease back into things. Two highly productive days followed by a series of immensely frustrating and fruitless days (which left me with a flat forehead, a dented wall, and a killer migraine) quickly reassured me that the old process is still intact--ah yes, I may still be an artist after all. "Sky Woman" is finally complete (yea!) after quite a long journey, a
nd I have just one more WIP to wrap up before moving on to a series of new projects (also yea!). So I'm pretty excited!
I hope eventually to post some pictures of the new workspace when it's not in such a state of disarray, but for now I'll just upload the completed version of "Sky Woman".
And thank you so much to the generous people that have contacted me about commission bids to raise money for Haiti! I'm going to continue taking bids for a while longer; if you'd still like to bid, you may either comment on the blog below, or contact me privately via mary@visuallullaby.org. The two highest bidders will receive customized art with the content and media of their choosing. Thanks!
nd I have just one more WIP to wrap up before moving on to a series of new projects (also yea!). So I'm pretty excited!I hope eventually to post some pictures of the new workspace when it's not in such a state of disarray, but for now I'll just upload the completed version of "Sky Woman".
And thank you so much to the generous people that have contacted me about commission bids to raise money for Haiti! I'm going to continue taking bids for a while longer; if you'd still like to bid, you may either comment on the blog below, or contact me privately via mary@visuallullaby.org. The two highest bidders will receive customized art with the content and media of their choosing. Thanks!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Haitian Relief
Oh, I always dread the question, "Why does God let bad things happen to good (or poor, or helpless) people?" A long time ago someone very matter-of-factly gave my youth group the answer, "So other good people can help them". That answer has never sat well with me. How can a conscience justify why such a terrible tragedy would fall on some of the most helpless people on earth? Just so other people can earn their crowns? Is it because if bad things only happened to those we felt deserved it, no one would ever care? Can only the suffering and destruction of the innocent shock us enough to take a good look at our world and our lifestyle choices and try to make things right or at least make them better? I'm certain I don't know. I am heartened by how many people from so many nations around the globe have been rallying to bring assistance to those suffering from the effects of the earthquake in Haiti, but I am so, so saddened by the sheer number of lives devastated by one single force of nature and all its aftershocks.
And feeling really helpless. With the economy here, I have absolutely no monetary resources to send aid. But I do still have two hands and they can still make art. I am starting by opening two commission slots. Anyone who would like a portrait or a painting from a personal photo or some illustration or fantasy image of your choosing, place a bid in the comment section or privately contact me. The two highest bids will be chosen and all proceeds will be donated to a local organization gathering supplies to send to Haiti, unless there's a special group you trust and specify that you'd rather see the money go to. No pornographic requests, please. If this goes well, I'll open more slots. Otherwise, feel free to visit my Etsy shop (link), where 25% of all digital print sales will be going to aid relief efforts in Haiti.
And don't forget to pray. We may never see how much of an impact our simple petitions or good-willed thoughts make, but the collective voice of a people never goes unanswered. Stay well, dear friends.
And feeling really helpless. With the economy here, I have absolutely no monetary resources to send aid. But I do still have two hands and they can still make art. I am starting by opening two commission slots. Anyone who would like a portrait or a painting from a personal photo or some illustration or fantasy image of your choosing, place a bid in the comment section or privately contact me. The two highest bids will be chosen and all proceeds will be donated to a local organization gathering supplies to send to Haiti, unless there's a special group you trust and specify that you'd rather see the money go to. No pornographic requests, please. If this goes well, I'll open more slots. Otherwise, feel free to visit my Etsy shop (link), where 25% of all digital print sales will be going to aid relief efforts in Haiti.
And don't forget to pray. We may never see how much of an impact our simple petitions or good-willed thoughts make, but the collective voice of a people never goes unanswered. Stay well, dear friends.
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